Automatically Hip by John McCaffrey

Author:John McCaffrey [McCaffrey, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: anthropomorphism;dark humor;black humor;off-beat;off-beat humor;surreal fiction;magic realism;short stories;male authors
Publisher: Vine Leaves Press
Published: 2022-07-04T22:00:00+00:00

Gail’s mother was in bed. She looked whiter than the painted walls in her apartment.

“How do you feel?”

“Horrible. I was throwing up all night.”

Gail pulled open the blinds. It was a sunny morning. No clouds. A blue sky. She placed her palm flat against the windowpane. The glass was still cool but warming in the morning light.

“You probably ate too much cake.”

“Ah. I only had a little. The strawberries weren’t much, anyway.” Her mother raised her right hand out of the sheets and pinched her ring and index fingers together. “Tiny. Like peanuts.”

“Does your stomach still hurt?”

“Nothing left in it to hurt. I just feel tired. I’m an old lady. What do you expect?”

Gail went into the bathroom, turned on the faucet, rinsed and then filled a dusty glass sitting on the sink. Next to her, rows of pill bottles filled a portable tray. Inside the bathtub was a special railing so her mother could lower and raise herself into the water. She had always taken baths. Never showers. It was the best memory of Gail’s childhood. The sound of her mother running a bath as Gail lay in bed. The soft gurgle floating through the wall. The light splashing. Her mother humming. Then, always later, a kiss good night. Her mother’s hair wrapped in a towel. Her body in a terry cloth bathrobe. Her face warm and clean and smelling like soap. Clean and safe and warm. She hadn’t felt that in a long time.

Gail came back into the room and placed the glass on her mother’s night table.

“Drink that when you get a chance,” she said. “You’re probably dehydrated.”

“Teal told me you went to the bicycle thing.”

“Spin class.”

“Well?”

“It was okay.”

“Did you get burned?”

“I sweated like a pig.”

“How did you like Ryan?”

“He’s fine. Friendly.”

Her mother struggled for the water and pressed the glass to her lips. She swallowed in sips and then rested it back on the table.

“A playboy. That’s what Teal says. Says he has women calling him all the time. A real ladies’ man.”

“Yeah,” Gail said. “I can see that.”

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